Teaching kids self-control
Self-control is not something we are born with; rather, it is something we learn and refine as we mature. Children, in particular, struggle with self-control and delayed gratification, but there are strategies we can use to lead them toward appropriate behavior throughout their youth.
Talking about self-control
Explain what self-control is and provide instances of times when you’ve shown it at the dinner table throughout your conversation. Discuss how it has aided you in becoming a better mother or father, employee, or employer. Then ask your children to describe how they exercised self-control on that particular day.
This should be done numerous times each week. You will observe how your children respond to conversations about self-control as you include them in your daily routine. They will also learn how you value self-control. They’ll be able to see it in action. Moreover, they will begin to demonstrate this in their own lives. This is the single most effective method of teaching self-control: recognizing successes and failures with it in everyday life and making substantial improvements as a result of them.
Calm decision making
Making chilly, rather than heated, choices is what we refer to as. So, rather than having dessert at breakfast or lunchtime, we opt to wait until after our main course and see the chocolate cake with fresh cream, raspberries, and chocolate sauce on the table after dinner. While emotions are calm, they assist youngsters in making judgments regarding compassion toward siblings, social media, gaming, or any other problem, rather than when they are enraged.
During your dinnertime chats, you can come up with an idea for something in which your kid wishes to take the lead. While emotions are under check, you may assist your youngster in determining what to do when circumstances get difficult.
Controlling rewards in self-control
If we give youngsters a treat for exercising self-control, they will come to believe that it is only worthwhile to be controlled if they can receive something in return. We want them to understand why this is important and to make their own judgments. Star charts and rewards indicate that our kid is not in charge of herself – rather, we are!
It is our own pleasure to be in control of our own life. When we praise and reward our children for exercising self-control, we are essentially exercising control over them ourselves! The rewards are in charge of the command and control. If they are really organically driven, they will not need our intervention to maintain control over them. Their own initiative will be sufficient, and the more their sense of autonomy (that is, the greater their sense of making decisions for themselves), the better the results.
Conclusion
What determines their life outcomes is the manner in which we educate kids to make sensible judgments even when they don’t want to do so. In teaching children to consider self-control as a valuable asset and to make good decisions, we will provide them with the skills to divert their attention, perceive challenges as opportunities, and maintain their health, prosperity, and wisdom.
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